Tina Time

3/12/06

I've been thinking a lot about the state of the world and all the things going on these days. I've also been thinking about my very clear political views, ones I hope align with my core values and beliefs, but are no doubt concerned with the physical and human part of our experience vs the spiritual and infinite self about whom I usually try to connect. And while I plan to keep the lines clear between my politics and by poetry, the urge to take a stand politically, and in verse, is tempting and alluring. I have an overly active political interest and knowledge and (without sounding vain) use my intellect and persuasive abilities easily in the political pondering arenas. So my expectation is that I would be witty and clever and get my ideas heard by wrapping them in verse. The idea intrigues me and calls me and on one hand I believe I could have a say here, (after much time spent learning and dues paying yada yada yada). Anyway, the thing is, I am not sure it would be a good thing in other ways.

My political side seems, without much provocation, to bring out the other side of the perpetually happy, and generally enthusiastic demeanor I have been blessed with since childhood. I've noticed, lately, that when I begin to discuss my very definite political ideas, for instance, at parties, with neighbors, I am soon sounding like the harsh opinionated boor everyone runs to avoid. I'm not sure I yet understand exactly what is going on, but I can feel the transformation from the relaxed conversational tones of catching up with long time neighbors to the shrill campaigning pitch politicians sometimes slip in and out from happen as both my temperature and volume increase.

Its not that politics and the world condition and how we manage global situations are unimportant. Not so, its more that as I feel my general tension and intensity start to rise, I know in my heart, to quote Dr. Wayne Dyer, that I am moving toward a low energy experience and away from the high energy "high" that follows creating or sharing my verses. I know this near anger and frenzy politics leads me towards is not my best self and needs to be kept in check at all times. I do not want to deny my interest, and yet continue to struggle to think objectively about world situations while maintaining my best self view that has very different objectives

It is a conundrum, for sure, (I'm sure I feel a poem coming.) Its funny, at times like this, I get the idea for a new poem, start out thinking that I am about to express a specific thought when, once started, I suddenly realize the work has taken on a message of its own, one I had not necessarily planned on. It will be interesting to see where this one takes me. Stay tune, who knows....

3/11/06

So here it is, life has gone on, the big day has come and gone and for everyone else life must seem pretty much the same as before that day, but for me, it is a whole new world. To have the answer to the question on what are you here for? or what is my purpose? or what is my gift? is amazing, euphoric, simply unbelievable! and while I am realistic enough to know that this honeymoon, energized feeling will not last forever, I also know I will be able to look back and draw on this memory and this happiness anytime.

In fact, if nothing more ever happened to me concerning poetry, I could be totally satisfied with knowing that I am able to touch the hearts of my friends and family. Of course, I long to have a larger voice, to reach and touch outside the circle of my immediate and current life, and this is the crux of this endeavour, to raise this voice and see if it still stands with strangers.

But the outcome of the first attempt to share a body of work, vs a piece or two, was so welcomed and encouraged that it has fueled me to the point where I cannot be stopped in the pursuit of my dream!

I don't think I explained the concept of Personal Verses well at the reading, but this is the type of poem that Personal Verses refers to, one written to a specific person or for a specific occassion. I would be delighted to write one for you.

This is for all of you who were there with me, those who could not be, but sent your thoughts and well wishes and prayers:


After the Glow...

The dawn has just broken on what looks to be
A brand new life waiting, one I can’t wait to see
Your being there with me, as I climbed the first rung
Listening intently as the words rolled off my tongue
Meant more to my heart than mere words can declare
The love filled the room up because you were there
I’m so grateful and humbled that you took out the time
And shared with me what had been previously mine
Your kindness and encouragement have helped me to know
That ideas make a difference and help us to grow
I’m inspired to work hard to mature in my art
And invite you along and to please play a part
Of the journey that stretches as I struggle to decode
And make sense of the gift with which I’ve been bestowed
For no doubt exists from where this talent extends
The rhymes and the rhythms are not mine in the end
I just solve the puzzle of what words to put where
Rendering dreams whispered as they float in the air




so, let me know if you are reading this blog, leave me a comment, would love to hear from you... Tina Ann

3/9/06

It seems I have this large silly grin that simply will not go away, the euphoria of last night's unveiling was so satisfying and so encouraging to someone who has had some crisis' of confidence (though from now on vows not to) . To have people tell you that your words have touched them, inspired them, made them think of a treasured memory, there is no greater sense of .....I hesitate to name it, this....this happiness....to do something you love to do and fight and scrape for the time to create and do share that effort and then, to have your audience acknowledge the connection made is simply the highest aim I could hope to strive for.

We all want to be happy, but what is that happiness?.....when are we truly the happiest? and I find that for me, its when the grin on my face is its natural state and the energy courses through me at every level, when my senses seem more accute and every thought has a connection to a bigger self . I am inspired all over again to write and write.........oh but for the time.