Tina Time

I have often kept a journal in different times of my life, mostly times filled with angst or especially frenetic times when there was so much going through my head and feelings filling me so overwhelmingly that writing them out seemed to be the only way to exorcise these recurring thoughts and save myself from an unending and repititious litany of thoughts I could not be rid of. Writing when I knew that no one wiould ever read my thoughts lent itself to a free form, unstructrured thought process that did not and did not need to make sense. It was simply a catharsis of the raw emotions that sometimes have overwhelmed me to the point that they needed an explicit outlet.

Writing out here in the blogsphere, in spite of the fact that I am realistic to know that no one is actually reading my unending prattlings aobut wanting to be important, its different. Here, the words have to make sense, nonsensical rantings and barely developed thoughts are soon revealed for what they are, or are not, when read with a critical eye. And I am too brutally honest to indulge in delusions about this undertaking.

It is, somewhat to be expected. I declare to the world that I will be a writer and speaker with no reflected effort or body of work to show my seriousness about the goal. Just the poems, which I have had a hard time taking seriously. This left me outside of the arena of competing for your time and considerstion. The blog space is like a workshop, an unending opportunity to practice practice practice writing, sharing thoughts, developing ideas.

It's in this space, upon the endless re-reading and editing that you realize that it is so much more than simply sitting down and letting the thoughts, fall, unbidden out of your head onto the paper. The work is in taking a raw emotion or undeveloped idea and present it as legitimate thought, worthy of a readers time and attention.

Now the challenge is to just keep writing, practicing, working. Hopefully something worthwhile will happen...