Tina Time

3/15/06

I am always brilliant, during the day while I am walking up the stairs at work, in the car. Topics, ideas, words role along in a really superior way. And then, the day winds down, I sit down at the blog to put some of that brilliance on paper and cannot recall a word. The Big Blank Page does indeed, loom daunting, an awesome responsibility, an incredible opportunity, an open invitation. This is where the real work starts, the thinking work. Structuring an idea and following it through to the depth and breadth of a fully developed thought. But then, sadly, I sit and look at the blank page and try to think of something worth saying.

3/19/06

It has occurred to me that the next step to master is discipline. This is the difference between achieving your dreams and dreaming your dreams. This is the middle of the process, the tedious part. Once the excitement of making a decision and announcing it is over, the friends and family have all gone back to their lives, the spotlight is off, you (I) have made my intentions known. It is before any of the benefits of achieving the goals I have set for myself are available. It is the time where the consequences of not doing something each day is practically non-existent. (I set a goal for myself to do at least one thing a day related to my plan, no matter how small. I am fairly, though not perfectly successful at this approach so far, but doing much better than if I had set no goal).

Though I seem to be stuck on the idea of not knowing what to say, on circumspect, I don't think it is the real issue. Truth be told, I speak with people every day and offer insight and observations as asked. I honestly do believe that the things I believe and the basis of the reason I believe I am destined for a larger voice is the universal acceptance and encouragement my words and ideas have received.

It is not the content that is proving illusive, it is the discipline to open the computer and focus my thoughts. I started out by committing to blog every day. This, as you can see, has slipped a bit as I allow the shopping, cleaning, kids, work, volunteer, friend world, translated as my life, occupy my time and energy.

There is just no doubt that this is an obstacle that must be overcome if I am ever move to the point of engaging in my dreams instead of just dreaming them. And on close examination, the real question is: is it the time, the energy, the ability (or lack of), the interest, or fear that causes the reticence or simple lack of following through.

This is a somewhat painful question, as I expose my inner struggles, since the answer may reveal some less than proud admissions. Success comes to those who figure out the answer to this question and then do what needs to be done anyway. Those of us who spend too much time dwelling, stewing, fretting, choose your own method, but spend our time and energies finding excuses or explanations or understanding are standing still trying to figure out or justify our past behavior. But the net result, no matter what the answer, is that we are not doing the things we know for a fact are the things that need to be done to make our dreams reality.

Not one second, in this questing mode, is spent looking for a way to change or move forward or achieve. All of us who are on a path to a goal know what needs to be done to get us there. We are not questing to understand what the right move, that’s obvious: make more calls, write more poems, get more customers, sell more ideas. We know what to do. It’s just the doing it, in spite of being tired after having worked a full day, attended an extra curricular meeting, cleaning the kitchen after dinner checking homework for tomorrow. All good reasons for being tired, no doubt. But, still not getting the job done.

So where does that “extra energy” come from? Woody Allen said, “80% of success is just showing up”! Doing something poorly, or doing it when you are not always fresh and eager may not seem worth the effort. But the difference between doing it less perfectly than you would like and not doing it at all is everything compared to the difference between the less than spectacular performance and the perfect.

Nike captured this as succinctly as is possible, “Just Do It!” If it’s important, if next year you want to be somewhere different than you are today, if, when you look in the mirror you want to be able to say “I did it” instead of “ I didn’t do it because…….”. Just do it! Even if you’re tired. Even when you don’t want to. Even when you’re sure it might not be time well spent. Focus on the goal. While you are in that moment of decision, ask yourself: am I going to turn on the TV or am I going to move a little closer to my dream? See the end result of attaining your vision and ask yourself, as you are acknowledging how tired you are, how much of your energy has already been expended, how much you have already had to do that day, and ask yourself where you want to be next year at this time: on your way to achieving that dream, or being exactly where you are today, still just thinking about the dream.

Show up and see how short the path from there really is.

I have to go write a poem!