Tina Time

3/14/06

So, here we are, I have said to the world, "I have something to say". I set up the forum, and now what? I stare at this very blank page, with the entire universe of topics to explore and realize that this is where the work begins. Its so easy to dream in the big picture, to see yourself living the life you dream, accepting the rewards and accolades and benefits of the realization of the dream. You may even be able to envision the work itself, in a romantic and not too specific way. But here we are, where the pavement meets the road, as they say...go ahead....create....be clever....it seems so easy in verse. Half the fun of verse is organizing the words in a non traditional way that offers a certain licence and lightness to the words. Prose seems so serious, so important.

I think about what it means to inspire....inspire what?....Dr. Wayne (one of my personal hero’s) Dyer says inspire means "in spirit". I have been trying to figure out what inspires me, and what does it mean, to say, "I am inspired?" I associate it with a feeling of wanting more, feeling excited about doing something new, feeling both a confidence and an enthusiasm about tackling that next great challenge or that pesky daunting task. And I'm not talking about the bribery or reward system we sometimes use to coax responsible or performance setting behavior from ourselves. More, inspiration is about the reaching into the core of our being and touching that place that holds the precious answer to "what is my passion? what is my purpose?" When anything you read, or hear or feel or just know causes you to look for that place, to begin to search for it, to recognize or acknowledge it, or most importantly, to act on it that is to feel inspired.

So to even say the words aloud (or, in print) that it is my goal to inspire, that more than anything in the world I want to be an inspirational speaker, is to presume a place I am not quite sure I am qualified to command. My very small self whispers, who am I to dream this huge dream? to assume this large voice? The fear forces doubts and questions, uncertainty and lack of confidence. How can I see and feel this "burning desire" or a very clear vision and yet not have the confidence to go for it.

And yet, there are the assurances of family and friends; that they have been touched and inspired. There is the undeniable ability to articulate thought in a way that helps translates complex or confusing ideas. (I know that is a bit of a pat on the back, but, as a my Grandma always said, "if it's true, it aint bragging".) And this is really the ladder I find myself climbing to get out of this whole I have dug for myself. There is simply no sin in acknowledging one's gifts and having the expectation and satisfaction of using those gifts to the utmost for the benefit of all and any.

Especially when doing so makes you giddily, inexorably, undeniably, goofily, crazily happy............


There once was a girl who loved rhymes
In the best and the worst of the times
So she honored this knack
And acknowledged no lack
Writing love into each of her lines

Since she knew what she needed to do
The obstacles she faced were quite few
Kept her eyes on the goal
Work well anchored in soul
Somehow knew that her dreams would come true

For the folks who supported her art
Left her humbled and grateful of heart
As she grasped the connection
Found in the reflection
Of Spirit’s grace eagerly sought



Spirit's grace eagerly sought......now that's a line! You have no idea how l struggled over the last line of this little limerick. Traditioally, the last line in any poem is the most powerful and important one. It carries the message you are trying to impart. And, I care about the sound of the words and the feelings they impose. This started out as something silly and then, halfway through, started to become important to me. By the end, I needed it to say what I felt, but I could not seem to make it fit or work. The rest of it had just flowed, but the last line was proving a bear! I really did not want to change the rhyme in the first two lines (of the last stanza). So I turned off the TV and covered my face, cleared my head and asked for some help.......Of Spirit's grace eagerly sought was my gift.